I am so small in this big, big world

I am having some problems with scale. My drawings are intricate and interesting in my gridded notepad on my desk. They tell a story; however, they allow for no more movement than the twitch of an eye. I want this wreckage to be epic. I want them to invoke the body as well as the mind. I’m not sure if I can do it. How can I make big when I feel so small?

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I think this may have been a problem for a while. I have lots of ideas, thoughts, passions…but how can I speak big when I feel so small? This blog has been an attempt to do so, but I still feel that it comes out as a squeak rather than a roar. I will be turning 30 next year and I don’t seem to have found my voice. When it does scream out loud it scares me, I wonder if what I have said is wrong.

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Sometimes I dress loud. It covers up all sorts of shyness. No-one thinks you’re small wearing neon pink tights and an octopus hat. I like it. I feel more powerful, like I could take up a little more space in the room. Perhaps I need to work like I dress? Does overcompensating really work? Will yelling look at me make my work better or just louder?

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I’ll keep trying.

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